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Ah! The wonders of wordplay!! Like any other writer, I love them. These glorious insults, sent to me by a friend, are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir, “ said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”   “He had delusions of adequacy .” –                                                 Walter  Kerr     “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”– Winston Churchill “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.”-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”-Winston Churchill, in response   “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”-Clarence Darrow     “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”-Moses Hadas   “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”-Mark Twain “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”  -Mark Twain     “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”-Oscar Wilde “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”-Oscar Wilde     “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”-Stephen Bishop “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”-John Bright “I’ve just learned…

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Today we just had to do something with all the bananas the shopper bought for us. When we ordered groceries online, I asked for two bananas. The shopper misread and thought it was two pounds of bananas. We got ten. Which is too bad. Because we simply do not eat that many bananas. There’s just the two fo us. And with bananas, you can sit around and watch them go from green to overripe in a matter of hours. I’m not saying my life is so lack-luster I watch them do that…much…but it has been known to happen. We decided to make frozen banana daiquiris. Hubby had the task of putting together the daiquiris while I made dinner. He went online for a recipe. I was dubious about the one he chose. I didn’t know Triple Sec went into a daiquiri. I want to go on record as saying that when you’re from southern Florida, which is more or less the tropics, you make things like banana daiquiris most of your adult life. Or plain, strawberry, mango, any fruit available. They are relatively simple and yummy no matter what fruit you use. A daiquiri is a wonderful thing. The online recipe hubby used had about 8 ingredients in it plus a full banana for each drink. No, no, no! It’s supposed to be half a banana and a jugful of rum, with a little bit of sugar and a lot of ice. You don’t even need exact proportions. Just keep adding rum, Toots, until it tastes good. Rum is the main ingredient in a daiquiri, anyone will tell you. But not the recipe hubby found online. The main ingredient was a banana! How weird is that?  But being the trouper I am, I tried to drink his daiquiri, figuring that if…

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I got about an hour and a half of sleep last night. This was because I knew I was getting up at 5:30 to go to Lucky’s for the 6 – 9 am senior shopping time. So naturally, I went to sleep at 12:30 am and woke up at 3. The rest of the time was spent waiting. I was anxious about getting groceries at a big supermarket. Lack of control and where is the toothpaste? Aisle 34? Truth be told, I prefer the smaller, neighborhood one I go to even though it doesn’t have as many choices of the same product. Anyway, Lucky’s had quite a lot of people there at 6:15, and I became nervous, making us (Hubby and me) do the rigorous Dance of Distancing. Most people did the same dance. And I thought the two-step was hard to master. Fortunately, Lucky’s had marked off the checkout lines in blue tape indicating the 6-feet of social distancing. Although it was 6:15 am, Lucky’s had NO paper or cleaning products, except 1/2 gallon jugs of Clorox. They said they’d had no delivery the night before even though they’d placed an order.  Nonetheless, we spent around $350, trying to stock up for two weeks. Good luck to us. We forgot the limes. And lemons. And Coolwhip. Now I can’t make Norman’s favorite low-calorie pie for dessert. I’ll have to go back. Another sleepless night for me!  

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I now see a big side benefit to sheltering at home. You don’t have to deal with so much cross-contamination stuff and junk if you don’t leave the house. Thinking about the steps and doing them in the right order takes a Herculean mind. I just have a Heather mind. This morning I went back to my little supermarket, masked and gloved, got frozen fruits and veggies (because that’s the advice these days over fresh), put the bags into the trunk of the car, shut the trunk, and then looked for my hand sanitizer to sanitize my gloves before I got back inside the car. I had left it at home. Naturally, I found this out only after I rooted through my entire bag touching everything inside. No hand sanitizer to decontaminate my gloves ‘just in case’. And there I was. Standing in the parking lot. In the drizzling rain. So I got into the car, drew out the keys, turned on the ignition, and drove home, using the steering wheel, of course, and trying to memorize every single thing I touched with what could be, even if it’s a slim chance, coronavirus 19 infested plastic gloves. When I got home, and still wearing the gloves, I Clorox-wiped them, the doorknob, the outside of all the groceries, including the frozen ones, because I just found out CV19 can live in your freezer for up to 2 years. Oh, great. Now I had to deal with my purse and all its contents. I emptied the bag out on the floor, got another Clorox wipe, and proceeded to wipe down all the contents, eyeglass case, wallet, etc, and the leather bag itself, which was expensive and doubles as a knapsack and I love it. Putting Clorox all over leather may be sanitary,…

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I don’t mean to sound ditsy, but is this Thursday or Friday? And we’re still in March, right? I’m a little lost on things. It seems almost like nothing’s moving or working. Sort of like The Day The Earth Stood Still. Remember that movie?  The 1951 scifi classic starring two very classy actors, Michael Rennie and Patricia Neal. Lock Martin, one of the tallest actors ever (7’4″), played Gort, the robot who could destroy the world. But didn’t. He stands in all his metal glory behind Michael Rennie below. If you haven’t seen this movie, now’s the time to view it. I mean, what the hey? You’re trapped indoors anyway. It will take your mind off everything, even we-know-what. Below is the trailer, but the movie is a lot more fun. And longer. As sort of a disclaimer, there was a remake in 2008 I never saw but I think it disappeared from sight. However, I’m off to Youtube to watch this movie for the umpteenth time. It’s so worth it.  

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Word to the wise: If you are sending away for any kind of medication, you might want to check to see if it’s still business as usual. I just ordered Ellie’s meds from a Canadian pharmacy, something I normally do every other month. It was a long wait on the phone because like the rest of the world, they have a reduced staff due to you-know-what. What you may not know is Ellie is my cat. She has asthma. You also may not know the exact same prescription costs about a fourth of what it would cost in the states. As I am not Rollo Rich Kid, I choose to do this via our northern neighbors. The process of getting these meds is time-consuming and exacting. The doctors on staff do not care the prescription is for a feline. They do the same exhaustive research and follow-up as they do for a human being. The first time I contacted them they even spoke with my vet here in San Jose to make sure it was the correct medication and dosage. With what’s going on in the world, it’s going to take twice as long to get here and cost twice as much $$$ as before. The delay is because three of their world-wide pharmacies closed Friday. Ellie will now get her meds from France, shipped through Turkey. At each border, there will be customs delays. Fortunately, I think I have enough for her twice-daily snort of the stuff through her inhaler. In closing (yes, a pun), I want to say we are fine. Holding our own. I hope the same is true for you. Stay safe. Keep social distancing. Wash your hands.

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Which reminds me of a movie, Down Among the Sheltering Palms, a 1953 musical comedy, with one of the stars being a distant relative of mine, Gloria De Haven. That also reminds me of a song, “Down Among the Sheltering Palms.” If you’re in the mood for even more nostalgia, try the Boswell Sisters singing this tune back in 1932. Note that while the movie and song have the same title, the movie is considered a bigger work, so it’s italicized. The song itself, being considered a smaller work, has quote marks (but try telling any songwriter that sort of logic).  In any event, I have to look up the correct one to use, italics or quotes, all the time. I simply cannot retain it. It’s all part of being a writer. Or an old bag. But I digress. Enjoy this song which is almost 90 years old in its production. So basically, it’s Sunday.  Take it easy, try to relax, be good to yourself. We went for a short walk earlier this morning. Just around the neighborhood. No problem with social distancing. We didn’t come across a soul. Actually, we did see Squiggy the Squirrel, who kept his own social distance from us. Been watching a movie on and off today. It’s one of those films often referred to as a ‘small movie’. It’s for sure a dark comedy because I found myself laughing at the oddest times. Anyway, it’s called Blow the Man Down (and note the use of quotes). I try to be consistent in things even if I am wrong.

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Not such a great day. We had a bad night. Norman either ate too much last night (too many cookies and bread and cheese) or he possibly has an angina condition. Eleven years ago he had a couple of stints put in and ever since that time, his heart has been right as rain. But he’s older now and put on weight. In any event, we don’t know what it is, angina or heartburn. We are waiting to hear from his doctor (who I’m sure is overworked and overwhelmed) to see if he can get into his cardiologist. Initially, a check-up had been put off until CV19 is on the decline, and a pill has been given to him hoping to stave this off. But the best-laid plans. Life goes on despite the coronavirus. However, no more cookies or cheese and French bread for a while. A friend sent me the most darling video of the world’s smallest cat. 10,000 live in India and Sri Lanka.

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