I have decided to keep hubby. Don’t try to talk me out of it, because my decision is final. It’s not every day I feel that way. There are times when he leaves the milk out on the counter instead of putting it back in the fridge. Some days the walls shake when he plays his music at 10 decibels, wailing at the top of his lungs right along with it. Last night he left the lid up on the Clorox Disinfectant Wipes – you know, those things that are worth their weight in gold – so by the time I found them this morning the wipes were completely dried out. And speaking of lids, he never puts the seat down on the you-know-what in the bathroom. This is a huge source of annoyance to me because I am constantly dropping something in that big hole filled with water in the middle of the bathroom. Retrieving a tube of lipstick from down there is no joy, believe me.
But frankly, hubby has his winner days. Many. And today was one of them.
For the last three days either the olive trees are pollinating, the moon is in the seventh house, or something something, but my allergies have been at their worst. I have been miserable and unable to cope. My head aches. my nose is stuffed up. I feel like there’s a tight band running across my forehead. My throat is scratchy. If I move fast, I become dizzy. And when I talk it feels like I’m underwater. Have I mentioned I am miserable? If not, please let me do so now. I am MISERABLE!
Anyway, this darling man to whom I am married has been taking care of me. Today he made dinner. Yes, tuna salad and a green salad. He even toasted the bread. He set the table. He remembered the water. He poured the wine. He made cocktails aforehand. Then this prince among men cleaned up the kitchen while I went back to bed to take a nap.
So the long and short of it is I am no longer selling him on Ebay. I have removed the listing. So for the lady who put in the bid of two dollars and seventy-four cents, you’re out of luck. I top your bid. Three bucks.