Sheltering in Place, Day 42

The governor of California has extended the shelter-in-place mandate until the end of May! Good grief! I have committed myself to nattering on about my thoughts and feelings until the shelter-in-place days are over. But what am I going to drivel on about? Because, let’s face it, drivel I do. Let me marshal my options on possible subjects: 1 -Hubby. The man I married is an endless source of material. Love him though I do, he is responsible for much amusement around the house. And aggravation.  Usually, he’s endearing and thoughtful. He has been known to clean up the kitchen, load the dishwasher, and do a load of laundry, all before I get up in the morning. But just when I think he is the most thoughtful man in the world he goes and does something thoughtless, like leaving one of the stove burners on after he’s cooked something for himself. No matter how many times I tell him to turn the burners off BEFORE he lifts the pot from the stove, he keeps forgetting. We even have little signs – “The fire marshall is watching YOU.” Someday I just might pull the stove out and put in one that turns itself off when there’s no more weight on the burner. That stove is right around the corner, should the house not burn down beforehand. 2 – Ellie, my cat. My darling, adorable, tubby Ellie is a spoiled brat, indulged beyond belief. I not only acknowledge the fact but stand firm that it is totally my doing. I say with no small amount of pride that I can take any ordinary alley cat and turn it into a neurotic French Poodle in less than three months. I like to think of it as a gift. 3 – My hair, my…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 41

Today Hubby and I went to Lucky’s at midday on a Sunday. Nutso, right? We were driving up to San Francisco to have a sidewalk visit with hubby’s 95-year-old mother and her granddaughter, our niece. How did we wind up at Lucky’s? Niece asked up to bring up some milk. That’s what it started with. We were going to get the milk at the nearby mom and pop store. Then we got a call back from niece asking if we could pick up a “few other things.” Unfortunately, we said yes. No good deed goes unpunished. I wanted to go to our local organic grocery store, but occasionally I listen to hubby. Big mistake. He thought Lucky’s would have everything niece wanted.  Lucky’s was packed. Social distancing at its worst. And even though there was a small sign saying no one could come into the store without wearing a mask, such was not the case. And it certainly wasn’t enforced. Unlike us, a lot of people were in the store, no masks, no gloves, and acting as if nothing was going on in the world. Whatsoever. Recent visitors from Mars, perhaps? Then I had a banana incident, but possibly I was the banana. I was standing my safe 6-foot distance from a man who was examining bunches of bananas as if his life depended on it. Or maybe his salary. I suspected right away he was a shopper. I’ve never seen any man who cared that much about what a banana looked like on the outside. Anyway, while keeping a patient, safe distance from him,  a woman dashed by, clipped me on the shoulder, and headed straight for the bananas. My reaction to what she did surprised even me. “Hey! Lady!” I yelled. “I’m doing my 6-foot distancing here, waiting…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 15

Okay. We have another 30 days of this shelter-in-place thing. We can do it. I am so confident in this, I am offering to be one of the cheerleaders of our group.  However, I’m not that thrilled with the cheerleaders on the left. First of all, who wears their hair that long anymore? I think I can relate to something a little more grown-up (see below to the right).  Here’s a cheer to get you started, somewhere between that and a rap song. After all, we must stay up with the times.  

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Sheltering in Place – Day 10

Having been sent to my room by the world’s goings-on, I find myself trying to control more and more of my little, teeny-weeny life and everything in it. I make sure Norman is wearing his mask and gloves before he goes out. And that he carries his hand sanitizer. And that he peels his gloves off when he returns home and washes his hands. And then I disinfect the doorknobs and anything else he touches on his way to the sink. Yesterday I made the pronouncement that I would take his car to the gas station and I would put gas in it because I had just done it for my car. It was such a nerve-wracking experience, such an exacting big deal i.e., sanitizing the gas pump, hose, car door, steering wheel, and so forth, and in such a precise order, I don’t think he could do it. Really? And when did he become such an idiot? Maybe he didn’t. Whoops! Maybe I am the idiot. And I have also become obnoxious. Even though Norman would never say so because he likes living. But just ask Ellie, my cat. She is so tired of me hanging around, grabbing her, smooching on her when she’s half-asleep, and following her every move. I am doing this because I am anxious and bored. This is a dangerous combination. It leads to obnoxiousness. See above. And I would also like to add that I cannot watch The World News with David Muir without a martini in my hand. So  I am also becoming a lush. Can one drink a martini in a hazmat suit? Stay tuned.

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Sheltering in Place – Day 9 or is it 90?

Got up early and went back to my favorite neighborhood grocery store. Armed with mask, sanitizer, and gloves, I went in. Got a few groceries, found out they have no paper products unless you count diapers. I have no need to get creative with paper diapers yet, so I moved on. Besides, I am loaded with paper products mostly by accident, but was thinking of friends. After my own personal experiences, what I’ve seen on TV, and have been reading about regarding the weekend park and recreation visitors, I have come to understand many people have no idea what constitutes a six-foot social distancing. Possibly this is because they have never been put at the end a six-foot pole or met my Cousin Dominic. Now and again people have said about me, “I wouldn’t touch her with a six-foot pole.” Or was it “I wouldn’t cross her with a six-foot pole?” Yeah, that’s it. This is in response to my reaction to people putting spam and pineapple on a pizza.  I mean, really? On a pizza? Would Leonardo da Vinci do something like that? Or Placido Domingo? Have a sense of tradition! Pizza is Italian, not Hawaiian. I certainly wouldn’t put any parmesan cheese in a Mai Tai. Okay, okay. You can see where this is going. Pass me a pole and I will stop ranting about spam or pineapple on a pizza. Live and let live. Eat and let eat. But if you are in doubt as to what the six-foot distancing should be, just think of my cousin Dominic the night after a big Italian festival, maybe St. Joseph’s. He could be found lying on the floor of the vestibule, an empty bottle of chianti nearby.  All six-feet of him, end to end. Who could open the front…

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