Sheltering in Place – Day 17

I was glad I was a writer today. Or am a writer. Today, instead of dealing with the latest same ol’, same ol’ ONLY WORSE news of COVID 19, I got to do a car chase over Highway 92, wind up at Pellegrino’s Christmas Tree Farm (made-up) with Lee and Gurn (my protagonist and her hubby), who manage to sabotage the getaway helicopter of the villains. And remember, because I write cozies, there may be dastardly deeds afoot and villainy abounding, but things are always set right in the end. Yes, it may have only been in my mind but it was very real to me at the time. I zipped over 92, heading west with the early morning sun coming up on a glorious day in a glorious part of the world. Ah, the joys of the light-hearted mystery and the writing of them. And, of course, I had to do research on fuel for a helicopter (there are two kinds, depending on the engine), if the windshield could be penetrated by a bullet (yes), and how those blades…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 16

I’m cranky. I admit it. But I think we’re all on edge. I’m going to try to be a little kinder to anyone I see, as long as they don’t step into my six-foot social distancing space or cough on me. If they do, however, look out, buster. So here’s a little distraction. Nothing like a little humor, right? So here’s a little Battle of the Sexes humor with no bad language or putting down of either men or women. Actually, both get a little fun jolt. But it’s also a reminder for those of us who have been fortunate enough to share their lives with another person for a little while, how funny we can be. Anyway, if you ‘ve seen this comic before, Fred Klett, he’s still funny the second and third time around.  

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Sheltering in Place – Day 15

Okay. We have another 30 days of this shelter-in-place thing. We can do it. I am so confident in this, I am offering to be one of the cheerleaders of our group.  However, I’m not that thrilled with the cheerleaders on the left. First of all, who wears their hair that long anymore? I think I can relate to something a little more grown-up (see below to the right).  Here’s a cheer to get you started, somewhere between that and a rap song. After all, we must stay up with the times.  

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Sheltering in Place – Day 14

We can relate, even though it’s only day 14. From the Funny Cat Diary Secret Cat Diary DAY 752 — My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 761 — Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair … must try this on their bed. DAY 762 — Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. DAY 765 — Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 12

      Today I’m having a Singalong with “Night and Day” the song from The Gay Divorcee, a timeless classic with singing, dancing, and fun. Created waaaay back in 1934, it starred Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Just skip through those pesky ads. This is so worth it. Of course, I have written some new words, which I feel are a little bit more timely.     Remember to sing as loudly as you can to drown out Fred’s words with your own. I’m sure your voice is better, anyway.

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Sheltering in Place – Day 10

Having been sent to my room by the world’s goings-on, I find myself trying to control more and more of my little, teeny-weeny life and everything in it. I make sure Norman is wearing his mask and gloves before he goes out. And that he carries his hand sanitizer. And that he peels his gloves off when he returns home and washes his hands. And then I disinfect the doorknobs and anything else he touches on his way to the sink. Yesterday I made the pronouncement that I would take his car to the gas station and I would put gas in it because I had just done it for my car. It was such a nerve-wracking experience, such an exacting big deal i.e., sanitizing the gas pump, hose, car door, steering wheel, and so forth, and in such a precise order, I don’t think he could do it. Really? And when did he become such an idiot? Maybe he didn’t. Whoops! Maybe I am the idiot. And I have also become obnoxious. Even though Norman would never say so…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 9 or is it 90?

Got up early and went back to my favorite neighborhood grocery store. Armed with mask, sanitizer, and gloves, I went in. Got a few groceries, found out they have no paper products unless you count diapers. I have no need to get creative with paper diapers yet, so I moved on. Besides, I am loaded with paper products mostly by accident, but was thinking of friends. After my own personal experiences, what I’ve seen on TV, and have been reading about regarding the weekend park and recreation visitors, I have come to understand many people have no idea what constitutes a six-foot social distancing. Possibly this is because they have never been put at the end a six-foot pole or met my Cousin Dominic. Now and again people have said about me, “I wouldn’t touch her with a six-foot pole.” Or was it “I wouldn’t cross her with a six-foot pole?” Yeah, that’s it. This is in response to my reaction to people putting spam and pineapple on a pizza.  I mean, really? On a pizza? Would Leonardo da Vinci…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 6

We went out early between 8 and 9 this morning to the supermarket. Senior shopping time. They had almost all supplies, including rubber gloves and TP (I don’t need any, see Blog – Day 1), with the exception of hand sanitizer. They no longer let you bring your own bags but they bag up your groceries at no cost to you. Everybody’s doing their part. Last night we ordered takeout from a nearby restaurant. Our way of trying to support the local economy. We’ll try to do that two or three times a week. I still have the hive on my face that shows up every time I’m under stress. It’s been hanging on my cheek for over a week now. Gee, I’m stressed? I wonder why? We’ve both been doing projects around the house that were waiting until we had more time. Man, do we have more time. And here’s what I have  discovered: 1- I have many blouses that no longer fit, look good, or I like. I don’t even remember how I got them or where they came…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 5

Today is a better day and the sun is shining! Hubby and his doc worked out the dosage of Norm’s meds and not to jump the gun, but it looks like this might do the trick. Eventually, when the CV19 dies down a little, he will probably go in for some tests. But for now, all is well. Discovered the number one reason to wear a facial mask: you can’t touch your face while it’s on. This is a bonus, for sure. Doctor Oz says we touch our faces dozens of times in an hour. If you don’t have a mask, try a bandana as a substitute. It’s supposed to be almost as effective. And this way if you’re in the mood to rob a stagecoach, you’re all set.   Have been writing, which is good. I live in my mind, which has its dangers, but one of the benefits is I don’t have to go anywhere physically to be there mentally. So now I’m in the Alvarez’ digs in Palo Alto about to have Lee grill one of the…

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Sheltering in Place – Day 3

I have become The Accidental Hoarder. I thought I’d order 6 rolls of TP on Amazon but somehow ordered 60. When this huge box arrived, I was shocked! We already had 7 on hand so now the total is 67. I have no idea where to put all these rolls. After all, we do live in a condo. Have let the neighbors know in case they are running low. An I-can’t-believe-this message from Instagramer, Vanessa Hudgens: “Til July sounds like a bunch of bulls**t. I’m sorry,” Vanessa says. “But like, it’s a virus. I get it. Like, I respect it, but at the same time, like, even if everybody gets it… like, yea, people are going to die, which is terrible, but like inevitable. I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this right now.” Gee, ya think, Vanessa?   And on another note, getting yet another bottle of vodka for a neighbor while on a shopping run. Seems to be a lot of self-medicating right now. I know I have become extremely fond of my martinis. Hubby has always been…

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