Yes, we have no bananas. Finally! That’s because I put them all to good use. No, not as a doorstopper or even a pair of earrings, Carmen Miranda style. A few days ago I wrote about receiving groceries via a shopper who misunderstood the number of bananas I wanted. Too many, too many! I had to be inventive.

First, there was the banana daiquiri. Not exactly a dismal failure but not so yummy. Never make the mistake of putting too much banana in your banana daiquiri. What you really need is rum. Never skimp on the rum. Foolhardy.

Second, I made chocolate-dipped frozen bananas. My mom used to make these when I was a kid. Back in southern Florida, she would go into the backyard and pick them off the tree. I got mine from a shopper. But they taste the same. Well, no they don’t. The smaller bananas that grow wild in Florida have a more intense flavor and there is something about going outside and picking your own banana off your own banana tree that makes it all the tastier. Truly.

But where was I? Oh, yes. Chocolate-dipped frozen bananas. All you do is cut the bananas in half, pierce them through the center with a popsicle stick or chopstick, roll them in melted chocolate, and pop them in the freezer. I halved the bananas, which made double the chocolate-covered bananas. If you look closely, you can see one went missing immediately. That’s because hubby snitched one when I wasn’t looking. He is fast!

Then this morning I took the 3 remaining bananas which were blackening nicely, thank you, and made banana-walnut bread. It was fairly easy, all told. Of course, it weighs a ton. Between the nuts and the 3 bananas, this is one hefty loaf. Actually, in the wrong hands, it might even be considered a lethal weapon. I can see it now: “Yes, your honor, the murder weapon was banana walnut bread. Bopped right on the head with it. Congress is debating a bill now where you have to have a license to bake one, but the law hasn’t been passed yet, your judgeship.”

And again, where was I? Oh, yes. I want to go on record as saying I am bananaed out. I’ve had enough for a while. I know they’re loaded with potassium and all that sort of good stuff, but I keep having this sudden urge to swing from a tree. Hmmm.