Traveling is Not For Sissies

We are in Europe, Germany to be exact, on the first leg of our vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I like the Germans. They are a gregarious, charming lot. They are not my problem, travel is. I mean, I don’t like to complain, but getting from A to Zed ain’t what it used to be. First off, plane seats are smaller and I am not. Second, like me, British Airways isn’t what it used to be. That’s true for most of the airlines. However, ten hours of sitting up all night in a seat roughly the size of my Aunt Fannie’s girdle with about as much movability, is trying. Add to that ghastly food, wine labeled ‘drink by Thursday, 4 pm or pour over your salad’, and a stewardess with a hauty attitude, and thus shines my heading. In a way, I don’t blame the stewardess for being hauty. After all, we were flying steerage and most cowpokes – even ones with a British accent – don’t take any lip from the cattle. Get along little doggie and mind your manners. Asking if we can get a cocktail, is completely out of line for a heffer. And the bull better mind his p’s and q’s or he’s liable to get branded…. or worse. We arrived in Heathrow the next morning with a nine-hour layover in store for us. There is no free lunch and this is the price you pay for frequent flyer miles. Take note. So after one sleepless night of sitting up, we got to sit all day in an airport waiting for a flight to Munich that got delayed. We arrived in Munich late, but we had paid for a hotel room in advance and thought all was fine. We were wrong. There was and is a convention in town – very big – and at the last minute…

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